Is Internet the key to my happiness?

Firstly, WOOHOO!

We have Internet now at the apartment and it gives me more ability to search for a new job, freelance and write on my blog.

As for the job search, I'm on the "S" list at work. My boss is aware that I am searching and I've been added to some sort of list. The boy likes to call it the shit list. "The Man" says that it's just so they aren't surprised when I leave and I said "I can still put two weeks in, right?"

Another sign that things are heading in the right direction is a call I got from Burlington yesterday. Before this job, I was doing temp work and also working at Burlington- the only reason we could afford our bills. Well, they had to let me go after the holiday season and my manager promised she would give me a call in the spring if they were hiring again... they are and she did! I really didn't think I would hear from her, but that's awesome. It means I can take the lesser-paying job that is at the tip of my fingers and have a second job at Burlington.

Supposedly I've been hired for this lesser-paying job, but I have not been given a start date and I was told she'll be in touch. I honestly don't believe it until it happens.

So I gotta go get ready for the current "S" list job- because yes, it is on my shit list.

My Prayer

I never thought that this phase of my life would be so difficult. I simply cannot find a job in my career and I sincerely cannot stand that job that I do have. It is just to easy to ask "What have I done wrong?" or "What Karma have I inflicted upon myself?"

It seems to easy to blame the economy, but from what I hear I'm supposed to.

I haven't chosen the right opportunities to lead my path- that's what it comes down to. When Happenings offered me freelance after my internship, I wrote one article before deciding that I had too much on my plate and bowed out. I should have held onto that like my first born. Then, when UNC decided I wasn't good enough for their Communications Coordinator position, they sent me mail offering a part-time position teaching after-school kind creative writing. I snubbed my nose at that because for one, I was bitter about not getting the original job and for two, I felt I needed something full-time. Yet, I ended up taking a job at Macy's which I absolutely hated and never went back to after my honeymoon.

I brought this tough time upon myself and I can only pray that I get the opportunity to turn it around again. This rut feels never-ending and my poor hubby takes the brunt of it. I cry about this job. Cry. Okay... I'm a cry baby and always will be, but I have not always cried about my jobs. I've had plenty of jobs I didn't enjoy, but as I've tried to explain to my husband 100 or more times, it's not about totally enjoying it at this point. It's about not hating it.


Dear Lord,

I am working very hard to pursue writing opportunities. Please give me the strength to prevent keeping my head under the covers for three days straight. Please help me to get motivated to go to my current job. My hope is dwindling and my patience is being tested. Please allow opportunity to come knowing that I've learned my lesson.

All my love,

Bird